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The Gateway Theory, such a bogus term. I mean what WERE they smokin’ when they came up with that? Someone was watching too much Star Trek if you ask me!
So … as if anyone doesn’t know this, the Gateway theory states that when kids use cannabis, it makes them want to try other harder drugs. It’s totes ridic, as the kids say. Do you remember the first few times you ingested weed? It wasn’t great for me. I spent most of the time wishing I could stop coughing, but giggling so much that it didn’t matter. I think I peed my pants those first few times for sure. I can most definitely say, that it didn’t make me wanna snort anything, or inject my self with a needle that’s for sure!
I remember once going up to the beach in the early spring. I had one sad, shabbily-rolled doob, likely the third doob I’d ever held in my life. And I had a few hours to kill. The beach area was completely vacant at that time of year. So I smoked a bit of it and put it out. I sat back to enjoy the buzz. Until a huge cloud of black flies came after the gazebo. It felt like the whole team was after me. That was likely the first and only bout of paranoia I ever felt. I slept it off in my car … itchy.
But if we must go along with the Gateway Theory, and state that using Cannabis makes me want to do something else, well then I most definitely agree. Here is a list of things that Cannabis is a Gateway to, for me.
Cannabis is a gateway to the take out menu or the kitchen for me. Now that I’m a bit older, I often feel hunger but have no appetite. Yet within fifteen minutes of partaking in our plant, I’m lookin’ for something to nosh on. I’ll go ahead and say it: Cannabis is an h’or d’oeuvre in that it gets you ready to eat. It gives you the munchies. Remember endocannabinoids? The cannabinoid-like compounds that our bodies make? Yes, well breast milk is filled with them. Makes sense when you see how ravenous a newborn can be when he’s had his first suckle.
Cannabis is a gateway to my pillow. This is the fact with almost any strain if enough is imbibed, but the most sleepy-time efficient strains are always Indica dominant. These are the easier to grow, smaller, bushier of the plants. Kush and kush varieties are a very popular Indica strain.
Cannabis is a gateway to the publishing of my own children’s book, “The Three Amigas.” Once again, almost any strain can inspire great writing and great ideas, but the cerebral stimulation of the strains are much, much better. These are Sativa dominant strains. These are the hard to come by jewels. They take longer to grow, grow much bigger, and can be a bit fussy. But the higher THC content is exactly what my potentially depressive and stagnant mind needs to get fired up about life!
Cannabis is the a gateway to my orgasm. Being high on cannabis can pull me out of my negative thoughts, but it can also let me close my eyes and totally immerse myself in the experience at hand. Cannabis relaxes me, makes me feel comfortable in my own skin, and allows me to shut down outside thoughts and influences to just concentrate on my hunni and our bodies. There are other drugs that people rave about more than weed as an aphrodisiac, but that’s a whole lot too much salivating and tongue chewing for this gal.
Cannabis is a gateway to a Literary award for me. Once again, and for the same reasons as mentioned above. But even more so, since much of what I write involves me putting myself in someone else’s shoes. It seems like we productive potheads and couch activists feel the connected one love. When I write, I feel the one love. I write in a way that will hopefully show the general public how this lowly and much misunderstood plant helps me and many people I know.
Cannabis is a gateway to my winning Masterchef Canada next season. Except it would have to be the version where you can have your vaporizer on the counter beside the fryer. And the version that doesn’t include timing me. I’m a great cook when I’m medicated. You just had better not be in a hurry! Once again, any strain works. But a strain that is 50/50 Indica Sativa is going to treat the best for daytime use. The other cannabinoids seem to mitigate the really high feeling from the THC, while the THC keeps the other cannabinoids from locking you to the couch.
Cannabis is a gateway to perpetual physical youth. I’ve begun eating some canna infused olive oil every night in caplets. It really helps me sleep through the night. And on the nights where I forget, or fall asleep too soon, I wake up aching and yearning to find that comfy position again. Remember that Disney character that would suck the youth right out of kids? Well I do that to my doobies with every puff. I’m more gentle than that Disney bitch though, cuz Cannabis wakes up my compassion. That would have been a whole other Disney movie had the bitch been partaking in the herb!
Cannabis is a gateway to my enlightenment. And this is a broad term with a timeline spanning from now til I take my last puff. I know not if it is the lack of pharmaceuticals, or the quantity of cannabinoids, but my brain is bringing memories back like it’s its job! Good ones, odd ones. Once again, I don’t know if they were purposely repressed or just friendly fire from other memories that stuck. But either way, I feel more clear and aware of my own place and purpose now. I feel one with the universe and one with every body … every single every body … even the ones who aren’t ready. It matters not what the real meaning of enlightenment is, because to me it’s total self love and radical acceptance of all.
So … ya … maybe they’re right. Maybe Mary Jane is a gateway drug. But it’s a gateway to all things good in my opinion. At least all things good when used in the right time and place. But such is life, eh? We spend so much time trying to dispel a myth, sometimes it’s fun to pull out the old, “if ya can’t beat ’em; ya join ’em!”
I’d love to know what Cannabis is a gateway to for YOU!
This blog originally appeared on The Couch Activist.
Photo Credit: Richard Thomas [CC-BY-SA-2.0], via Wikimedia Commons