Letter to the Editor: Let’s Fight the Scourge of Tarragon

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Dear Ladybud Editor:

Things change so rapidly in politics.  While we suffer Cannabis Prohibition’s last pangs of rigor mortis, as a culture, we are going to need a new scapegoat.  Might I suggest Tarragon?  What an obnoxious herb.

Tarragon has no place in a modern kitchen.  If you use it, you are bound to anger half the members of your dinner table.  Tarragon has no place on fish or poultry other than to mask a gamey flavor.  You certainly wouldn’t use it on a good dry-aged steak.  Have you ever run into someone who uses too much Tarragon?  It is hard to remain polite.  And what of the message that it sends to the children?  It is hard enough to get them to eat healthy.

Now, surely there will be some wahoos who wave the flag of Liberty and demand their right to make a Béarnaise sauce knowing full-well that Hollandaise perfectly suits any culinary endeavor.  The threat of a little bit of jail time and a permanent criminal record ought to quiet that bunch down quickly.

Thank you Ladybud for all that you have done in winning the battle for Cannabis Reform across this Freedom-loving country.  I certainly hope that you will adopt Tarragon criminalization as a little bit of yin to the yang.

Justin Escher Alpert

Livingston, New Jersey

P.S.  Now that cannabis users are seen as having a certain level of sophistication in some circles, perhaps we also ought to look for new people to scapegoat.  Might I suggest skateboarders… those pugnacious little punks.  We ought to make skateboarding a crime and prevent them from getting married and having little skateboarders that take up the sidewalk and all.

Photo Credit: Hans under Public Domain via Pixabay