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By “Bud Doc”
PART TWO, click here for PART ONE
I have thought about killing myself many, many times. At 16, I took a knife to my wrists. Fortunately, I am an idiot and didn’t do it right. Although in my defense, I didn’t have Google back then… In 2009, I took too many pills and while not an outright suicide attempt, I was indifferent about waking up. At different times in my life I have been institutionalized. I have been treated for Major Depression since 1998, and added wonderful Anxiety along with it in the early 2000’s. I’ve been on so many pharmaceutical drugs I cannot remember them all: Zoloft, Seroquel, Remron, Wellbutrin, Effexor and so on! I drank heavily for many years to mask my pain as well. I had a DUI at 18, then again 6 months after I was in the military. I have been to rehab for alcohol dependence (and had one killer graduation party).
I first started smoking marijuana when I was in college. I was limited in funds, so my usage was as well. When I first joined the military, I experimented with LSD (Acid) as it was pretty safe to do without getting caught. It was interesting to try a couple times, but I didn’t feel in control. I smoked marijuana a total of approximately 5 times during my military career – twice, I smoked two days prior to a piss test. Obviously I passed, but it freaked me out. I even became a urinalysis coordinator and went to the drug lab to see the entire process! It’s always good to be closest with the enemy.
Even after retiring, I bought 1/4 oz. that lasted me an entire year. I would stand on my balcony and freak out while smoking, the whole time swearing someone was going to catch me and turn me in. No one should be made to feel that way, ever.
After retiring and changing jobs a couple times I realized I just wasn’t happy. I was, and still am, searching, but marijuana makes the journey tolerable. When medicated, I am able to be more social and handle stressful situations without feeling as if I have to flee. I realized how much better I felt when smoking about a year ago and decided to put caution to the wind. As I started medicating more frequently, I found the prices to be absurd. My knack for continuous improvement told me there was a better way – not just for me, but my new found acquaintances as well. There had to be an easy way to get medicine cheaper.
Well, there is, but with a steep personal price. You have to be able to knowingly break the law. I was able to do so without reservation because everything I know about this plant teaches me how amazing it is. As time progressed, I was able to arrange for people to obtain medicine at a good price and amazing quality.
While doing so, my first indoor grow was beginning. My experienced friend constructed the room and got it all running quickly. The first run (1/2 Indicia, 1/2 Sativa) went well, but we both knew we could do better. Many farmers are set in their ways and even Humboldt is a city stuck in the 1980’s. As a matter of fact, no one I met when I visited had EVER taken a hit on a vaporizer. Now, three of those people use nothing but a vape.
After my first grow was complete I computed up all the numbers and realized that I may be able to step away from my office job and do this full-time, if I made the right moves. I immediately went to work figuring out how to make that happen. Simple answer: land. Nothing is ever simple though, is it? Cost, location, police presence, historical arrests, availability of resources, on or off grid, indoor, outdoor, CO2, heat, cooling, sun cycles, etc, etc, etc… After a couple weeks of research I found a piece of land that would need a little work, but was perfect for what I was looking to do. Construction plans were developed as was a budget. Potential earnings are outstanding, but all it takes is one misstep, so caution is paramount. Rules such as no smartphones, no social media, no phone calls, and strict security measures are required to provide the best chance of success.
You may be thinking, “this guy is in it for the money!” Well, first let me respond by saying, “Duh!” – if I am going to do this full-time, I still need to make a living. More importantly, I will tell you that MANY people, including all the care givers and patients I am working with, benefit from what I am doing. Changing people’s lives brings me joy. As you have read, happiness is not a common theme with me. When a man looks me in the face and says “I feel no more pain” after I provide his medication, THIS makes me happy. On top of being able to make people feel better and earn income, until all 50 states have some medicinal marijuana bill approved in some fashion I will not rest. With this opportunity I will be able to give more back monetarily to causes and people I see doing great work.
Even with all this, I am not content. CBD strains and the research about to take place with them is exciting. I am intrigued and want to become involved, but herein lies the worst problem I find in this community: communication. Everyone is sketched out and scared to openly discuss marijuana because of the thugs and gang members known as Police Officers. If I sound cynical, it was on purpose. Oh, just in case you were wondering, I had my last day in the office recently and it was exhilarating.
Next up: the move west. 3,000 miles to go. So close, but so far.
TO BE CONTINUED…