I Paid My Student Loan Debt On A Stripper Pole, Part 2

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I got to this place because I needed quick money (see Part 1), I like my financial freedom and I’ve got zero moral qualms with trading titties for money. I mainly needed a plan that would dig me out of the financial mess school had pushed me into.

I choose stripping because waiting tables sounds like torture without the gift of death at the end and luckily enough, it worked out like a charm. Only problem was, I didn’t think it through and incorporate it into a 5-, 10- and 20-year plan. Regardless of your chosen profession, no matter how degenerate or legitimate it may be, there needs to be a backup plan and some room for future growth. Introducing – the downfall of hustlin’!The big dilemma arises when you give a young, uneducated woman a lot of money in a dead-end, unskilled profession (A skilled profession, by definition, is one that can’t be learned within 30 days. Example: anything that requires credentials.)The money can be comparable to a CEO’s salary and sometimes it isn’t there at all – it’s seriously as volatile as the stock market. I have even had days where I’ve left negative. Men can also smell desperation on a stripper and the times when strippers need money is when they don’t make any. True story.

Becoming a stripper is a seriously good gig if you can make it work without falling into the potholes that give it its social stigma. My best piece of advice is to hold off on becoming a stripper right out of high school. No one can create a career out of a gig with a short shelf life – you need to have a real, concrete agenda for yourself. So get one before you find yourself on the pole. Use the pole only to unscrew yourself. Go to school, acquire a reasonable amount of debt and pay it off within a few years after graduating. Once I started making some serious cash, I started spending it on dumb shit like it was going out of style and as if it would always be there.

DON’T feed the animals and DON’T give cash to the strippers.

And what about the high interest, 10-year track they automatically assign you once you start paying back your debt? Student debt, in my not humble opinion, relies on one big factor: that you haven’t taken the time to figure out what the interest on your principal balance is (a.k.a how hard they can F you in the A.)

A fellow dancer I met a few years back had taken the time to calculate how much interest she had been gaining each day since she graduated 5 years ago. She owed 90k, roughly. Turned out she was racking up about $10 every day. RAPE. SILENT RAPE. Schools are a business just like any other.

Shortly thereafter, she freaked out and immediately moseyed on over to the nearest strip club and got to dancing. It was probably the best decision she ever made. Two years deep and all of her extra income still currently goes towards paying off that bitch, and she is almost done. She explained that she had a friend talk her into doing it in NYC, where she kept it a big secret from her friends and roommates.

She was an attractive, fit yoga chick that traded in her bohemian style for clear heels, lingerie and a solid plan to use stripping only to get her where she needed to go next. This is exactly how you take on the pole and tailor a plan to what will work for you. Keep it wholesome, bitches.

I don’t mean to make it sound as easy as walking into a club, getting butt naked and having people shower you in big bills. You need to learn how to persuade people into paying exorbitant prices without owing them a handjob.

I’ll teach ya how to hustle.